Thoughts

Well, this holiday enable me to pen down a lot of thoughts I have with regards to my life. Suddenly,the JC times, the army days, the SIM school days all seem so far away. It has been 2 weeks since I last receive an SMS from a friend. Well, that is why I do not really need a handphone, so I decided to buy a prepaid card instead, it is cheaper that way.

Sometimes, I really wonder why I am so weird, but at times, I feel so proud of this "weirdness".
I cannot stay more than 6 hours away from home nowadays, if it has to be more than 6 hours, it has to be studies or something passive. I feel so tired after exceeding the 6 hours limit playing or shopping outside. I cannot stay up too late as I need a lot of sleep. Thus clubbing is really out for me, I am not the type who can dance, afford expensive beverages, and meet clubbers. I am not saying that it is a waste of money or time to go clubbing, just that I am not the type of person.

In the swimming pool this thursday, saw a hunk with a lot of pretty babes around him, I suddenly feel so jealous and inferior. Looking at my skinny as a bamboo body , and compared to his muscular body, I feel ashame of myself. Not that I wish to have his physique and with babes surrounding me, I just want to be more 'fat'. I really wonder whether any girl will like me in this state I am now. Seeing young couples being so compatible and with the drama serials frequently depicting scenes of intimacy between couples, at times really have an urge to go on stead with a girl.

In the past, never thought about all these things, it is always about studies and myself, now I actually think about all these things. I am a bit silly to tell myself that after the age of 25, then I can have a girlfriend. My brothers really did that, and now they do not have steads. Not that my brothers are weird like me, or skinny as I am, in fact, they are normal looking and smart, I guess they will have one when the time comes.

I feel like a kid sometimes, so naive and silly. At times, I find myself immature, I can be bother by such thoughts easily. Not that I have never like someone, but she already has a boyfriend. Will there be a day when I will like someone and that person also likes me? So silly to think about this, I believe when it its time, fate will bring us together. Right now, it is just occasionally thinking about this. Alright, I end here now.