Yup, After the exams, there will be a 8 weeks break or even 9 weeks break from school. Just check the portal, notice that I got a HD for the biz computing assignment. suddenly, I have this illusion that it is really easy to do well in SIM, but nope, I am wrong, if that is the case, how come my marketing only got a PA(pass), so I guess it must have been hardwork. The exams are just round that corner, 8 days more to the accounting paper. Seriously speaking, I am rather unprepared despite retaking the A levels last year. I do not expect myself to get a HD, if I can get a D( Distinction) I am happy liao.
This Friday, on the bus ride to school, saw a group of boys from this renowned boys school boarding the bus. I do not mean to eavesdropped on their conversation, but there was one student who talks very loudly, even bragging about how low his grades are. It is something he should be ashamed of, not to be proud, yet he talks as if he has been a hero by getting such low grades. The group was badmouthing and scolding a rather obese student from the school. In the past, thought that what others say of the scool having bullies was a whole load of crap, now, I know why the school have a rather bad reputation because of these black sheeps. In JC, I have this male classmate from that school, when he told me he was bullied in his lower Seconday years, I did not believe him. How can such a good school have bullies? Only neighbourhood school like my Secondary shcool have bullies. I was wrong, even if there are bullies from neighbourhood schools, they are less devious and more easily changed. The bulies from some schools are intelligent, some even good at studies, rich and good looking. These type of bullies are harder to tacke, read from the papers once that some girls form these SAP school threw the Textbooks of a fellow classmate. Reason being the girl was seen talking to a guy the da jie da (Big sister) of the group have a crush on. The group even scolded the girl, hurl verbal abuses at her.
Luckily, I am not from that boys school, if not given my effeminate mannerism, plus my skinny physique, I will bw bullied by the upper Sec guys. I could not believe that the classmate of mine was bullied before, he is fit, good looking, intelligent, kind and masculine, how could he be bullied? Now there is evidence of such bullying from that school, my friend must have been rather small sized, weak and reserved in the past.However, now he is such a nice guy, he did not get affected by the bullying. Though I once lament that I did not go into that school, I feel so lucky now. At least I did not experience bullies before, I must be really lucky. Perhaps I am weird , that is why they feel that I won;t be an easy target. Well, hope that the plump student could get fit and study well, and that is the best way of getting back at the bullies.
After the exams, it is finally holiday, real holiday. After 2 -3 years without a long holiday, I am finally going to have one. I can do a lot of things I like at that time, play, sleep, read, swim, jog, do the things I like. Got to end here now cos it is time to study. Alright, I end here now.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Thoughts
Today, I am exposed to a lot of information and views. Of these, the most significant was that of a NSF 2 LT posting a pic of 2-3 men dressed in Army uniform having bad bearing. There were a lot of uproar when he posted that, some even went to the extent of perosonal attack, some applauded him for his "bravery". Actually, I think for those who disagreed with him is is not totally Beng or unwise. Being a lowly NSF before, I know how garung and impractical some NSF officers can be. Still, I think once we don the army uniform, it is important to ensure we are dressed properly as you wouldn't dressed slopily if you are in your civilian clothes. Even if you hate army so much, you still need to respect yourself , now because of that, the three men are being 'caught' and being discussed knowingly and unknowingly.
I can understand why the opposers are so outraged, they undergo so much suffering and unfairness, yet they see such a comment by someone who treats his NS life with pride. They wll naturally be angry that they are not as lucky so they might feel that the 2LT is being cocky and unrealistic. Being in the service vocation for 2 years plus, I am lucky so I cannot really undestand the agony of the combatants in the operations units. To them, they suffered for 2 years for nothing, lowly paid and being treated like shit by the minority black sheeps in the organisation. There are no right or wrong in the issue, what I think is that in the first place, the officer should not post the picture as it contributes to some kind of voyeurism. He can mention about this issue, and not linked the incident to particular group of people or organisation. I agreed that we should respect the uniform as it also mean respecting oursleves. For those who say that it is alright to be sloppily dressed , I feel that they should ask would they dare to dress like this before even shooting the officer.
Indeed, the officer is only myopic, there is no need to use vulgarities and personal attacks. They could express it more subtlely. Some of the comments are really too bias, saying things like he should know where he stands and scolding him as being brainless. He must have earned his rank, and reflecting in this issue does not render him as brainless, he is myopia but not brainless, the thing he should not have done is to post the pic. It makes him a bit arrogant and naive, not brainless though. Both parties are wrong to some extent. Of course I can be a neutral party as neither am I an officer nor a combatant so I can be more focused, not too biased.
I focus more on respect on oneself and to be more fair rather than being bias and unrealistic. Next thing is about the gays issue, well, as long as they do not harm us, it is okay. It is weird and frustrating at times when you see one but they are humans too, imagine yourslef in their shoes, how would you feel if you are obstracized? It is their choice though they are abnormal, they are harmless. It is those that offer to have sex with you that makes you scared of them. One thing to clarfiy though is not most effeminate guys are gay, I am an effeminate guy but I do not have sexual urges with guys. There are many tyoes of people in this wold, I am one weird kind of person. There are those who think that downgarding is their ultuimate goal in NS life, they got it wrong. Being a clerk does not guarantee a bed of roses, they are unreasonable superiors at times and the workload can be tormenting at times. At the same time, you have to work with weirdos at times, it is physically relaxing but mentally stressed.
In the combatant life, it is usually as a group, but being a training clerk makes you be the few who stayed back for nothing at times. Is our NS really that negative and redundant? Of course, I am the majority of the lot who looks forward to ORD and now I ORD liao, with pleasant and bad memories but that is a part of me, like it or not, 2 years of your life are gone and it is just 2 years and then you are a civillain. I can understand there are really cocky NSF officers who treat not only combatants but also clerks and storeman with disrespect, that is why the opposers are so angry. Perhaps he is not one of them, you cannot judge a person by just one blog he posted, do they know him well?
I guess much as we hate to admit it, NS life is a period of time wasted to suffer, Singaopre will never go into war, we will always be this peaceful, and those who make it to being a clerk are much luckier. if everyone thinks this way, what will happen to our country in times of war. Fortunatley or unfortunatelt, there are people who really cherish the 2 years and see the real meaning behind their NS life. I guess if the one who post the blog was a RSM in a unit, there wouldn't be such a great amount of uproar. He is too young to make any comments on the uniform issues, as in civillain life, he has not met many people, at the age of 19, at most 21, what can he experience unless he is really unfortunate.
Another issues is about Undergrads doing essays for people in return for money, though I am not in the local U (much as I wanted to), I feel that they should not feel too poud about it. For those who pay them to do it for them, good luck to them , see whether they can find people to do it for them in the exams. I know I am prejudiced against those who seek easy ways to gain success in academic areas, but I seriously feel that since you are given a chance to study, somemore a chance to be in such a high level of institution, you should cherish the chance. There are many people who yearn to get in but cannot get in.
Be it my family upbringing or own discretion, I will never do this unless I am a really changed person of under dire straits, we should always remeber that in any learning, there is no short cut, only hands on and hardwork can guarantee you success. In fact, the people involved has committed plagiarism that is equivalent to the theft of intellectual property, like piracy, it is not something to be proud of nor to be widely publicised. I believe that there is no task that is so difficult that you have to ask someone to do on your behalf. Money is not everything, this time round, you pay people to do things for you, next thing are you paying someone to do a proposal for you for instance and claim that it is yours. I know there are people out there who do this, and it is really common. Once we reflect on this, we will feel that we have indeed breached the rules and live in guilt. Other people might think that I am exaggerating but for me, it is a totally no for people to do things for me for money, they can help me but not do it for me. I dare not claim that it is mine and will not as my conscience tell me that I have done soemthing wrong.
I might never experience the agony when you are forced to write an essay, and you are at wits end. There are always professors and friends that can help you. It is better getting a low grade than to get a high grade for an essay that is not written by you. My 2 brothers have never helped or asked people to do their work for them in their U life. Partly is because they are really intelligent, unlike me, they are also taught not to cheat. Whatever happened to the morals and integrity humans have? I know I am really prejudiced and myopic just like the 2LT earlier with respects to this issue but it is so sad that there are people who seek the easy way out to gain success. Alright, I end here now.
I can understand why the opposers are so outraged, they undergo so much suffering and unfairness, yet they see such a comment by someone who treats his NS life with pride. They wll naturally be angry that they are not as lucky so they might feel that the 2LT is being cocky and unrealistic. Being in the service vocation for 2 years plus, I am lucky so I cannot really undestand the agony of the combatants in the operations units. To them, they suffered for 2 years for nothing, lowly paid and being treated like shit by the minority black sheeps in the organisation. There are no right or wrong in the issue, what I think is that in the first place, the officer should not post the picture as it contributes to some kind of voyeurism. He can mention about this issue, and not linked the incident to particular group of people or organisation. I agreed that we should respect the uniform as it also mean respecting oursleves. For those who say that it is alright to be sloppily dressed , I feel that they should ask would they dare to dress like this before even shooting the officer.
Indeed, the officer is only myopic, there is no need to use vulgarities and personal attacks. They could express it more subtlely. Some of the comments are really too bias, saying things like he should know where he stands and scolding him as being brainless. He must have earned his rank, and reflecting in this issue does not render him as brainless, he is myopia but not brainless, the thing he should not have done is to post the pic. It makes him a bit arrogant and naive, not brainless though. Both parties are wrong to some extent. Of course I can be a neutral party as neither am I an officer nor a combatant so I can be more focused, not too biased.
I focus more on respect on oneself and to be more fair rather than being bias and unrealistic. Next thing is about the gays issue, well, as long as they do not harm us, it is okay. It is weird and frustrating at times when you see one but they are humans too, imagine yourslef in their shoes, how would you feel if you are obstracized? It is their choice though they are abnormal, they are harmless. It is those that offer to have sex with you that makes you scared of them. One thing to clarfiy though is not most effeminate guys are gay, I am an effeminate guy but I do not have sexual urges with guys. There are many tyoes of people in this wold, I am one weird kind of person. There are those who think that downgarding is their ultuimate goal in NS life, they got it wrong. Being a clerk does not guarantee a bed of roses, they are unreasonable superiors at times and the workload can be tormenting at times. At the same time, you have to work with weirdos at times, it is physically relaxing but mentally stressed.
In the combatant life, it is usually as a group, but being a training clerk makes you be the few who stayed back for nothing at times. Is our NS really that negative and redundant? Of course, I am the majority of the lot who looks forward to ORD and now I ORD liao, with pleasant and bad memories but that is a part of me, like it or not, 2 years of your life are gone and it is just 2 years and then you are a civillain. I can understand there are really cocky NSF officers who treat not only combatants but also clerks and storeman with disrespect, that is why the opposers are so angry. Perhaps he is not one of them, you cannot judge a person by just one blog he posted, do they know him well?
I guess much as we hate to admit it, NS life is a period of time wasted to suffer, Singaopre will never go into war, we will always be this peaceful, and those who make it to being a clerk are much luckier. if everyone thinks this way, what will happen to our country in times of war. Fortunatley or unfortunatelt, there are people who really cherish the 2 years and see the real meaning behind their NS life. I guess if the one who post the blog was a RSM in a unit, there wouldn't be such a great amount of uproar. He is too young to make any comments on the uniform issues, as in civillain life, he has not met many people, at the age of 19, at most 21, what can he experience unless he is really unfortunate.
Another issues is about Undergrads doing essays for people in return for money, though I am not in the local U (much as I wanted to), I feel that they should not feel too poud about it. For those who pay them to do it for them, good luck to them , see whether they can find people to do it for them in the exams. I know I am prejudiced against those who seek easy ways to gain success in academic areas, but I seriously feel that since you are given a chance to study, somemore a chance to be in such a high level of institution, you should cherish the chance. There are many people who yearn to get in but cannot get in.
Be it my family upbringing or own discretion, I will never do this unless I am a really changed person of under dire straits, we should always remeber that in any learning, there is no short cut, only hands on and hardwork can guarantee you success. In fact, the people involved has committed plagiarism that is equivalent to the theft of intellectual property, like piracy, it is not something to be proud of nor to be widely publicised. I believe that there is no task that is so difficult that you have to ask someone to do on your behalf. Money is not everything, this time round, you pay people to do things for you, next thing are you paying someone to do a proposal for you for instance and claim that it is yours. I know there are people out there who do this, and it is really common. Once we reflect on this, we will feel that we have indeed breached the rules and live in guilt. Other people might think that I am exaggerating but for me, it is a totally no for people to do things for me for money, they can help me but not do it for me. I dare not claim that it is mine and will not as my conscience tell me that I have done soemthing wrong.
I might never experience the agony when you are forced to write an essay, and you are at wits end. There are always professors and friends that can help you. It is better getting a low grade than to get a high grade for an essay that is not written by you. My 2 brothers have never helped or asked people to do their work for them in their U life. Partly is because they are really intelligent, unlike me, they are also taught not to cheat. Whatever happened to the morals and integrity humans have? I know I am really prejudiced and myopic just like the 2LT earlier with respects to this issue but it is so sad that there are people who seek the easy way out to gain success. Alright, I end here now.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Exams Coming
Hai! Exams are coming again, beside 2004, I have exams every year since P1, being a lao jiao in exams(13 years), exams are not alien to me. However, now exams seem so sian and a waste of time to me. I ask myself why there is a need for exams, they only make me feel demoralized. In the past, there was once when I liked exams as I did well in exams. Now, after falling greatly in the A levels, I can't say the same.
The feeling is so strange, last year I am preparing for the A levels, this year, I am preparing for the finals. I just feel so strange, it is like a long time but in fact it is just a year. Last year, I did not blog for half a year so I did not write down my feelings back then. I don't know what will happen next year, I just know that this time round, it is not about entering U but rather just passing the exams. So the pressure is lesser, but still I must work hard after paying so much for the course.
After checking the portal, I know that I got 2 HDs for the 2 tests, accounting and economics. I am glad that I did well, but the finals still counts, so must not fail in the finals. If I was in local U and I got such good test grades, then I would be really happy. Well. at least my confidence is back, I feel more motivated and not demoralized. Thank god for letting me be safe and sound all this while. My entries nowadays will be more about my studies and not anything else. In the past, it was about a week happenings, mostly about camp stuff. I am not a people person so I do not expect myself to blog about so and so, or outings( as I do not have many friends to go with).
To me, I find that in my life, the most difficult is to face people , especially people I don't like. In the army, I remember being really very miserable facing an unreasonable and uncultured warrant officer. Of course, now he is just a uncultured and pitiful old man who scolds vulgarities and will have difficulty have people working for him in future after he got retrenched by the army. Why should I be as uncultured as him and scold him, he will gat his just deserts someday. Now, I seldom talk to people as I find that the more I revealed about myself the more people might use it against me. I am not saying that all humans are bad, but I find it unnecessary.
Thus, to me studying is stressful but books will not harm you, will not let you harm them, to put it insanely, I rather have relationship with books than people. I know that there are really nice people out there, like the gal I like, but after meeting so many nasty people, I become self-centred. Frankly speaking, I am really pragmatic, I only need friends when I am working and not in my private life. I can do a lot of things alone, watch TV programmes, listening to music, go for bus rides, play computer games, sleeping, reflecting, reading, going to the library, have good food, blog, swimming. There are so many things to do.
Often, people find that life is boring, actually, there are so many things to do, so many nice entities to sense, music, graphics, food, family warmth, to me, each day is always different as you have different thoughts. I know that it is fun to go out with people, play sports and look at babes. To me, I feel that if each week , I go out, I will spend a lot and more importantly, I will
be really tired. I need private time to rest and reflect. That is why people find me quiet and weird. I did not put on an act, I just feel that being alone is not a bad thing, being lonely is. They will find me boring as my life is based on time rather than just live my life with my own discretion. I find that this type of life is more safe, and so far, I did not even beat someone before or being beaten by someone. I can reflect on my flaws and improve on my strengths.
Whenever I read the blogs of others, they are more about their friends, bf,gf, and their family. It is fun to read, I like to see the happy side of people though I cannot interact well with people and simply hate some nasty people to the core. I like to uncover the truth before human behaviour, research on the brain thinking. As if people will read my blog, I blog to let myself know that I have this type of thoughts at this point of time. I like to refer to that time and compared it to the present and see if I have changed a lot or a little. It is boring and unnecessary, but I prefer it this way. Alright, I end here now.
The feeling is so strange, last year I am preparing for the A levels, this year, I am preparing for the finals. I just feel so strange, it is like a long time but in fact it is just a year. Last year, I did not blog for half a year so I did not write down my feelings back then. I don't know what will happen next year, I just know that this time round, it is not about entering U but rather just passing the exams. So the pressure is lesser, but still I must work hard after paying so much for the course.
After checking the portal, I know that I got 2 HDs for the 2 tests, accounting and economics. I am glad that I did well, but the finals still counts, so must not fail in the finals. If I was in local U and I got such good test grades, then I would be really happy. Well. at least my confidence is back, I feel more motivated and not demoralized. Thank god for letting me be safe and sound all this while. My entries nowadays will be more about my studies and not anything else. In the past, it was about a week happenings, mostly about camp stuff. I am not a people person so I do not expect myself to blog about so and so, or outings( as I do not have many friends to go with).
To me, I find that in my life, the most difficult is to face people , especially people I don't like. In the army, I remember being really very miserable facing an unreasonable and uncultured warrant officer. Of course, now he is just a uncultured and pitiful old man who scolds vulgarities and will have difficulty have people working for him in future after he got retrenched by the army. Why should I be as uncultured as him and scold him, he will gat his just deserts someday. Now, I seldom talk to people as I find that the more I revealed about myself the more people might use it against me. I am not saying that all humans are bad, but I find it unnecessary.
Thus, to me studying is stressful but books will not harm you, will not let you harm them, to put it insanely, I rather have relationship with books than people. I know that there are really nice people out there, like the gal I like, but after meeting so many nasty people, I become self-centred. Frankly speaking, I am really pragmatic, I only need friends when I am working and not in my private life. I can do a lot of things alone, watch TV programmes, listening to music, go for bus rides, play computer games, sleeping, reflecting, reading, going to the library, have good food, blog, swimming. There are so many things to do.
Often, people find that life is boring, actually, there are so many things to do, so many nice entities to sense, music, graphics, food, family warmth, to me, each day is always different as you have different thoughts. I know that it is fun to go out with people, play sports and look at babes. To me, I feel that if each week , I go out, I will spend a lot and more importantly, I will
be really tired. I need private time to rest and reflect. That is why people find me quiet and weird. I did not put on an act, I just feel that being alone is not a bad thing, being lonely is. They will find me boring as my life is based on time rather than just live my life with my own discretion. I find that this type of life is more safe, and so far, I did not even beat someone before or being beaten by someone. I can reflect on my flaws and improve on my strengths.
Whenever I read the blogs of others, they are more about their friends, bf,gf, and their family. It is fun to read, I like to see the happy side of people though I cannot interact well with people and simply hate some nasty people to the core. I like to uncover the truth before human behaviour, research on the brain thinking. As if people will read my blog, I blog to let myself know that I have this type of thoughts at this point of time. I like to refer to that time and compared it to the present and see if I have changed a lot or a little. It is boring and unnecessary, but I prefer it this way. Alright, I end here now.
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