Highly Senitive Guy (HSG)

There is already this term "SNAG", (Sensitive New Age Guy) which means that this type of guys are able to spare a thought for their actions and not only care about themselves. To me, to be a SNAG requires more than sensitvity, you require wisdom too. I term myself as a HSG as I realised that all this while I have been trying to fit into society's main stream but it failed. Since I cannot tell myself or succeed in conforming to society's standards, I rather be weird than to be so hard on myself.

Recently read a book on how to survive as a HSP(as girls are also highly sensitive), it teaches a lot of non-conforming attitudes and beliefs towards life on the whole. I always think that thistype of books are boring and lengthy, now instead they are informative and thought provoking, it is a benefit rather than a hassle and cost to read this typoe of books. I always thought that I am not sensitive to others, in fact, it is beacause I am too sensitive that I often think too much of hurting myself and others that I am so vexed.

There are many idealistic thoughts but it seem that as I grow older and become more matured( I hope I am), they are so impractical and worthless. In the past, used to be very concerned about not being a combatant but now it is as if nothing have happened. In life, there is no turning back and there is no ten years series for you to practice, no saving point, no definite formula to success, we must learn to be more practical and not be too far-fetched. That is the view I have of my life. People always say that do not dwell on the past, well, it is theoretically correct, practically, we must often have a sense of how we managed to be what we are today or what caused the change in us.

That is why though there are no saving point, there are diaries or memoires to help us record our mistakes and achievements. I used to think that it is stupid and girlish to write diariesas each day is almost the same, wake up. go to school, return home, eat , do homework, sleep and then the next day starts. However, as I grow older, each day is routinely the same but the thoughts I have and the incidents I encountered each day is different.My life is boring to others but not to me, my life is often full of incidents and I have too much thoughts at times that I have no mood for other things. I once resented this but now I realised at least I know what I want in life, how imparctical or nonsensical my goals are. Now, my diary is not just a record of the day, it lists down the thoughts as a result of some incidents, some books I read or the news I heard.

I am more comfortable staying indoors, and at times is shy plus I am highly sensitive. Suddenly, the words which I think will never be used on me are apt descriptives of me. I am a highly sensitive shy introvert currently. I based my life on practicality rather than gratification or satisfaction, I weigh every actions carefully and consider the repercussions of doing certain things. However, I failed to be rational in terms of affectuations and feelings. There are incidents which hurt me deeply, yet to the others, they are just part and parcel of their lives. I seek a flawless life in which there are no sudden illness, no conflicts, no war, no relationship problems.
Sadly, this ideal picture gets blurrer with my increasing maturity and the everchanging wiorld. I guess as human beings, we are here to reap what we sow, the changes we made, the advancements in our global village that we proudly claimed. That might be life for the people in today's society. Alright, I end here now.