Well, this holiday enable me to pen down a lot of thoughts I have with regards to my life. Suddenly,the JC times, the army days, the SIM school days all seem so far away. It has been 2 weeks since I last receive an SMS from a friend. Well, that is why I do not really need a handphone, so I decided to buy a prepaid card instead, it is cheaper that way.
Sometimes, I really wonder why I am so weird, but at times, I feel so proud of this "weirdness".
I cannot stay more than 6 hours away from home nowadays, if it has to be more than 6 hours, it has to be studies or something passive. I feel so tired after exceeding the 6 hours limit playing or shopping outside. I cannot stay up too late as I need a lot of sleep. Thus clubbing is really out for me, I am not the type who can dance, afford expensive beverages, and meet clubbers. I am not saying that it is a waste of money or time to go clubbing, just that I am not the type of person.
In the swimming pool this thursday, saw a hunk with a lot of pretty babes around him, I suddenly feel so jealous and inferior. Looking at my skinny as a bamboo body , and compared to his muscular body, I feel ashame of myself. Not that I wish to have his physique and with babes surrounding me, I just want to be more 'fat'. I really wonder whether any girl will like me in this state I am now. Seeing young couples being so compatible and with the drama serials frequently depicting scenes of intimacy between couples, at times really have an urge to go on stead with a girl.
In the past, never thought about all these things, it is always about studies and myself, now I actually think about all these things. I am a bit silly to tell myself that after the age of 25, then I can have a girlfriend. My brothers really did that, and now they do not have steads. Not that my brothers are weird like me, or skinny as I am, in fact, they are normal looking and smart, I guess they will have one when the time comes.
I feel like a kid sometimes, so naive and silly. At times, I find myself immature, I can be bother by such thoughts easily. Not that I have never like someone, but she already has a boyfriend. Will there be a day when I will like someone and that person also likes me? So silly to think about this, I believe when it its time, fate will bring us together. Right now, it is just occasionally thinking about this. Alright, I end here now.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Blogging
Happy times are short, 1 week of fun and laughter gone like that. Luckily still have 7 weeks of holiday. Today, just change the template of my blog to a bright green background, with added features such as pics, labels and photos. In the past, my blog is just words, and more words. I like the new outlook very much, as I design it myself.
Recently, there have been many issues with regards to blogging in the local scene. The most recent case was about a daughter of an MP, from a renowned school criticising a fellow blogger of his anxiety for the older workers in Singapore. It is indeed her thoughts, but she have to be careful of how she phrase it. To me, it seem like she looked down on the older workers, terming them as old and redundant.Luckily, she is still a minor in the eyes of the public, thus her immature thoughts can be taken as being elitist.
If she was older, she would have been asked by those who feel offended to account for her actions. Thus it has become no longer a simple aim of sharing with others your thoughts, as your blog can be viewed by people who might feel offended by your thoughts. I think it is better to just pen down interesting activities that you do with your friends and families. It is really dangerous to write about your dislike for a particular group of people or organisation, as these are really sensitive issues.
Fortunately, not many leave down comments after reading my blog, (I guess it is boring) so I do not have problems with my blog till now. However, to be safe, I will avoid writing about sensitive issues.
Since September, I have been listening to this programme(大头芬的世界） on the radio at every Monday, Wednesday and friday nights at 2030 hrs. As the programme is titled, it is about a 14 year old girl studying in a neighbourhood Secondary school. She has two best friends, da nai bing and tian cai qing. adna special friend, ah toot. At first, thought what is so nice about a teenage girl's diary, but after having the blog, the programme receive a lot of positve feedback. I am used to writing my comments on her blog.
I guess that is the advantage of a blog, whereby you can get to have comments from people you don't know. The host of the programme is one of the DJ, Peifen. Partly because she is a DJ, and the blog is a record of the show, that is why the blog is so well received. However, the content of the blog is the crucial factor, if it was just some guy 's daily routine like I got 80 marks for Maths exam, I should have get better marks, it is a bit boring.
The blog is different from digital diary, in that it is online. Thus a successful blog must not be seen as convening negative thoughts. Many people failed to realise this thus there are instances of NSmen posting photos of armoured vehicles on their blog. In Singapore, it is alrite, but if the blog was accessed by a person who is interested in the armoured vehicles in the SAF, then it is no longer just a person problem, it concerns the security of our country.
What I feel is if you want to keep your thoughts among your friends, try not to use a blog, use email, it is safer, because the online feature of a blog does not guarantee the safety of it. In my blog, it is always about some of my thoughts about myself and certain groups of people. I did not name them ot make any personal attacks on them.
Lastly, hopefully, less bloggers will get into trouble with their blogs now with the option to have a private blog. Alright, I end here now.
Recently, there have been many issues with regards to blogging in the local scene. The most recent case was about a daughter of an MP, from a renowned school criticising a fellow blogger of his anxiety for the older workers in Singapore. It is indeed her thoughts, but she have to be careful of how she phrase it. To me, it seem like she looked down on the older workers, terming them as old and redundant.Luckily, she is still a minor in the eyes of the public, thus her immature thoughts can be taken as being elitist.
If she was older, she would have been asked by those who feel offended to account for her actions. Thus it has become no longer a simple aim of sharing with others your thoughts, as your blog can be viewed by people who might feel offended by your thoughts. I think it is better to just pen down interesting activities that you do with your friends and families. It is really dangerous to write about your dislike for a particular group of people or organisation, as these are really sensitive issues.
Fortunately, not many leave down comments after reading my blog, (I guess it is boring) so I do not have problems with my blog till now. However, to be safe, I will avoid writing about sensitive issues.
Since September, I have been listening to this programme(大头芬的世界） on the radio at every Monday, Wednesday and friday nights at 2030 hrs. As the programme is titled, it is about a 14 year old girl studying in a neighbourhood Secondary school. She has two best friends, da nai bing and tian cai qing. adna special friend, ah toot. At first, thought what is so nice about a teenage girl's diary, but after having the blog, the programme receive a lot of positve feedback. I am used to writing my comments on her blog.
I guess that is the advantage of a blog, whereby you can get to have comments from people you don't know. The host of the programme is one of the DJ, Peifen. Partly because she is a DJ, and the blog is a record of the show, that is why the blog is so well received. However, the content of the blog is the crucial factor, if it was just some guy 's daily routine like I got 80 marks for Maths exam, I should have get better marks, it is a bit boring.
The blog is different from digital diary, in that it is online. Thus a successful blog must not be seen as convening negative thoughts. Many people failed to realise this thus there are instances of NSmen posting photos of armoured vehicles on their blog. In Singapore, it is alrite, but if the blog was accessed by a person who is interested in the armoured vehicles in the SAF, then it is no longer just a person problem, it concerns the security of our country.
What I feel is if you want to keep your thoughts among your friends, try not to use a blog, use email, it is safer, because the online feature of a blog does not guarantee the safety of it. In my blog, it is always about some of my thoughts about myself and certain groups of people. I did not name them ot make any personal attacks on them.
Lastly, hopefully, less bloggers will get into trouble with their blogs now with the option to have a private blog. Alright, I end here now.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Carefree days
For the next 1 month 3 weels or so, I will be staying at home most of the time, doing the things I wanted to do for so long. People might feel that huh! staying at home, so no life, go out and work part time better. Indeed sometimes, staying at home too much will make people 'rot' and working part time can gain some experience, meet new people. However, I am the type who is so tired of politics and unreasonable co-oworkers. In the army, already meet such people and have been so disturbed , why torture myself for that extra money when I am not the type who spend more than $20 per week.
Actually, being alone sometimes is good, you need not think of ways to deal with people u dun like, and my typical routine is wake up at 8:30 am, have breakfast, then read form 9.am to 11a.m. Then sleep, have lunch and serve the net and read till dinner time. Then bath, watch television programmes till 11p.m and sleep again. Half of my time is spend sleeping, which explains why I am so weak and easily tired. So my day end so fast, 12 hours sleeping, 4 hours serving the net, 4 hours reading , 4 hours watching television programmes, 4 hours doing the necessary stuff. If people happen to know about this, they will ask sleep so much for what. Well, I just feel that sleep can make me more relaxed not having nonsensical thoughts.
Occasionally, I also listen to the radio, hearing the deejays talking to each other and introducing some of the singers is a form of assurance to me that I am not lonely. I am a guy who has problem expressing myself verbally, so people who know me well will become bored soon when we run out of topics. In the past, I used to be bothered by it, now after quarreling with so many people, I am really tired sometimes. If conversation always end up in quarrels then might as well dun talk.
I am a weird guy, skinny, ugly, low self esteem and reserved. Not that I have not try to change, but the attempts all failed. Well as long as I do not harm anyone emotionally or physically, it is alright, I have been telling myself this. For the past 4 days, I have been happy, just that have been thinking a lot about myself all this while. Seeing the blog of other people so nice, and so interactive, I started to realise no one will be interested in such a plain looking blog with so much words. Initially, thought that I can have people replying to my blog, but for one and a half years, no one ever comment on it.
Aiyah, not that I want anyone to comment about it now, just want to keep a record of my happenings these 5 years. Alright, I end here now.
Actually, being alone sometimes is good, you need not think of ways to deal with people u dun like, and my typical routine is wake up at 8:30 am, have breakfast, then read form 9.am to 11a.m. Then sleep, have lunch and serve the net and read till dinner time. Then bath, watch television programmes till 11p.m and sleep again. Half of my time is spend sleeping, which explains why I am so weak and easily tired. So my day end so fast, 12 hours sleeping, 4 hours serving the net, 4 hours reading , 4 hours watching television programmes, 4 hours doing the necessary stuff. If people happen to know about this, they will ask sleep so much for what. Well, I just feel that sleep can make me more relaxed not having nonsensical thoughts.
Occasionally, I also listen to the radio, hearing the deejays talking to each other and introducing some of the singers is a form of assurance to me that I am not lonely. I am a guy who has problem expressing myself verbally, so people who know me well will become bored soon when we run out of topics. In the past, I used to be bothered by it, now after quarreling with so many people, I am really tired sometimes. If conversation always end up in quarrels then might as well dun talk.
I am a weird guy, skinny, ugly, low self esteem and reserved. Not that I have not try to change, but the attempts all failed. Well as long as I do not harm anyone emotionally or physically, it is alright, I have been telling myself this. For the past 4 days, I have been happy, just that have been thinking a lot about myself all this while. Seeing the blog of other people so nice, and so interactive, I started to realise no one will be interested in such a plain looking blog with so much words. Initially, thought that I can have people replying to my blog, but for one and a half years, no one ever comment on it.
Aiyah, not that I want anyone to comment about it now, just want to keep a record of my happenings these 5 years. Alright, I end here now.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Holiday Liao!!!
Yipee! The long awaited holiday has arrived, there are so many things to do, go on bus rides, swim, serve the net, read, sleep, ponder, play PS 2, watch television programmes, listen to the radio, go for jogs, and most importantly rest my mind. These are all very simple things, and all done in the indoors, I am not a very active guy, so I won't go out with friends, not that I have any to go out with either. Yesterday was my last paper, Macroecons, in JC I used to dread the Economics paper, it is essay so you can imagine how many pages we have to write before we can get our ideas through.
Last year, I remebered having my A levels re-exam during this period of time, so fast, one year past by liao. A lot of thoughts have been bothering me all these while, but now I am okay. Perhaps all things in life are not solely controlled by humans, there is some entity known as luck in life. In mathematics, we can use probability to predict how likely an event can happen , but in life, things are unpredictable at times, a person eating fishball noodles can choke to death by the stucked fishball, a guy who has always been careful actually could die due to a mishap. In relationship, there is also another element known as fate, if we ask ourselves how do we meet this person, we will be puzzled.
In over 6 billion people, you can actually have your 'friends' as your friends, it is even more amazing when you have love relationship with your partner in life. The probabilty is 1 out of 6,000,000,000, about 0.0000000016 percent, a really insignifucant percent. Of course, in mathematics, it is as godd as that the event will not happen, but in life, such possibiltities do happen. Just find that no matter how clever human beings can be, we are not able to manipulate every entity in life. Sometimes it is this inability that makes life exciting, of course provided that unfortunate events do not happen. If we are able to control everything and live the perfect life we all wish, then life would be meaningless. We will be just like robots programmed to do things and not have any expectations.
Actually I have thought that the time we have eternal peace is the time we die, thus many who wish to seek eternal peace choose death as an option. The people who commit suicide are too overwhelmed by their problems that they fail to realsie there are others who are worse off than them still willing to survive. They think that by dying, their problems will be gone forever, but no, their problems turn into grief and sorrow for their loved ones. Sadly, not many people can be able to realise all these things when the problems become too hard for one to manage.
Sometimes they just need someone to let them know that all is not lost yet and they will not give up their life. A simple thing like this yet we ask ourselves how many of us are brave enough to do that. I have never meet a problem so bad that I will give up my life thus I can say all that I want, but if I meet such problems, I don't know if I am able to be as clear minded as I am right now. If there is someone by my side then to persuade me against giving up my life, I will be so lucky.
These entry sounded so serious, just some thoughts that came into my mind. Alright, I end here now.
Last year, I remebered having my A levels re-exam during this period of time, so fast, one year past by liao. A lot of thoughts have been bothering me all these while, but now I am okay. Perhaps all things in life are not solely controlled by humans, there is some entity known as luck in life. In mathematics, we can use probability to predict how likely an event can happen , but in life, things are unpredictable at times, a person eating fishball noodles can choke to death by the stucked fishball, a guy who has always been careful actually could die due to a mishap. In relationship, there is also another element known as fate, if we ask ourselves how do we meet this person, we will be puzzled.
In over 6 billion people, you can actually have your 'friends' as your friends, it is even more amazing when you have love relationship with your partner in life. The probabilty is 1 out of 6,000,000,000, about 0.0000000016 percent, a really insignifucant percent. Of course, in mathematics, it is as godd as that the event will not happen, but in life, such possibiltities do happen. Just find that no matter how clever human beings can be, we are not able to manipulate every entity in life. Sometimes it is this inability that makes life exciting, of course provided that unfortunate events do not happen. If we are able to control everything and live the perfect life we all wish, then life would be meaningless. We will be just like robots programmed to do things and not have any expectations.
Actually I have thought that the time we have eternal peace is the time we die, thus many who wish to seek eternal peace choose death as an option. The people who commit suicide are too overwhelmed by their problems that they fail to realsie there are others who are worse off than them still willing to survive. They think that by dying, their problems will be gone forever, but no, their problems turn into grief and sorrow for their loved ones. Sadly, not many people can be able to realise all these things when the problems become too hard for one to manage.
Sometimes they just need someone to let them know that all is not lost yet and they will not give up their life. A simple thing like this yet we ask ourselves how many of us are brave enough to do that. I have never meet a problem so bad that I will give up my life thus I can say all that I want, but if I meet such problems, I don't know if I am able to be as clear minded as I am right now. If there is someone by my side then to persuade me against giving up my life, I will be so lucky.
These entry sounded so serious, just some thoughts that came into my mind. Alright, I end here now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
