Finally it is coming

Heard from my family members that the A levels results will be released on Wednesday 010306. I am not as anxious as I expect myself to be perhaps due to the events in camp. Still, I am much more nervous than the time when I first get the results. I have worked hard for it and I definitely want to do well for it. However, I somehow expect myself not to do very well, perhaps a bit better than the previous time. I try not to predict what grades I will get but still in my mind I just have a guage. I am on tenterhooks and the feeling is really uncomfortable.The difference this time round is I worked hard for it and even if I did badly, even worse than the previous attempt, I know what it is like to put to effort for something. I have not put in so much effort in my life before, and I sort of think that 70 per cent of those who worked hard for something get the results they want, the remaining 30 per cent will not get it.

I don't know what to do sometimes, be it good or bad or just plain, I tell myself to be more brave than the previous time and try to plan for my future. Of course, I can say all these now, who knows how I will react when I know the results. it is a really strange feeling, partly nervous, partly despondent and partly indifferent. Hope that I can be brave enough to face up to the consequences. Alright, I end here now.

Half a Year more to ORD

Yup! Still have a half a year more to go before I ORD. Half a year(184 days to be exact) is neither long nor short, a lot can happen in this remaining half a year. No matter what, I just hope that I can ORD in one piece and my family members are safe. In 2 weeks time, I guess last year A levels results will be released and I am feeling quite nervous about it, far more compared to 2 years ago. I have put in really a lot of effort in it and I hope to do well.

Tuesday was Valentime's day and as usual I was alone. In the past, never thought that the day could be significant but after knowing the person I like already have a state, i suddenly feel so useless. I tell myself not to have a gf till the age of 25 but it seems like when you see everyone else have a partner, you would feel so weird. Anyway, I know no matter what I won't be serious in a relationship till I get every of my wish fulfilled so why cause pain to others and myself when I am not willing to commit in a relaionship. I end here now.

An eventful week

This week in camp it is really busy. Starting from Monday, it is a lot of work till Tuesday.
On Wednesday, I am the duty clerk and on THursday I am forced to wake up early because of a blackout in the ops room, depriving me further of my already precious sleep. On tHursday, we have a CNY celebration and it is quite fun. yesterday, it is normal. Today, just have steamboat with my family members and this afternoon just bought an mp3 player. Also realized that the O levels results had been released yesterday, don't know when the A levels results will be released. Never mind just have to wait, I end here now.

Results stress

in about 3 more weeks, last year's A levels results is going to be released. Though it is the second time I am getting it and I sort of still disbelieve that I actually have to go through this ordeal one more time, I am more nervous than ever. If I fail this time, it is not the end of the world but I will be really sad. Aiyah, very sian and very uncomfortable, on one hand I want to get the results, on the other hand, I don't want to face the music. I really don't know what I want? Anyway, I tell myself to be strong whatever the outcome is.